Sister Mary Phillip, of course, was the high school physics teacher who tried to pound into my unwilling head such lofty concepts as Einstein's Theory of Relativity and why it's not acceptable to claim that your homework was eaten by a black hole.

Thirty years later, I'm getting a delayed lesson in relativity as - slogging semi-valiantly through an overwhelming sea of beachfront redevelopment documents, meetings, and issues - I still generally have 827 people a day (conservative estimate) ask me, "Hey, Kate, when are you guys going to stop sitting around and get this beachfront redevelopment moving? We're not seeing anything!"

To all those inquiring minds out there who have already packed their beach blankets and blown up their seahorse inner-tubes, let me simply reply, "MOMMMMMY, they're picking on me!"

No, no, I mean...let me offer you a thoughtful update on our current progress:

1. What is the latest beachfront news? This week, our redevelopment process takes a giant leap forward as Asbury Partners, our master developers, submits a highly detailed CAFRA application (weighing, I understand, about the same as the State of New Jersey) to the NJ Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) for approval.

2. Wasn't CAFRA the guy who directed "It's a Wonderful Life"? No, that was Capra. New Jersey's CAFRA (Coastal Area Facility Review Act) law protects the state's coastal waters and the lands adjacent to them, and real beachfront construction (and major demolition) can't begin before our CAFRA application is approved.

In addition to 100 or so engineering drawings and studies, the Asbury Park application describes how the proposed redevelopment will potentially affect everything from water quality, sand dunes, wildlife, and dry burrow pits (if we had any) to parking, historical structures, traffic, and (for reasons that are not clear) Atlantic City.

The DEP has up to 45 days to review and comment on our application (fortunately, they've already seen major portions of it), and then they'll schedule one or more public hearings. Following that, the DEP has another 30 days to approve, reject or conditionally approve our request.

Although Asbury Partners can begin construction immediately on the actual boardwalk and pavilions, CAFRA approval is necessary before other major construction can begin. The state process generally takes from 90 to 145 days, although Governor McGreevy has pledged to expedite it for us.

3. When will boardwalk redevelopment begin? In the next two weeks, Asbury Partners will circulate bid proposals for the ground-up reconstruction of the rapidly deteriorating boardwalk between Convention Hall and our southern border, and they hope to open the Casino Arcade (which leads to Ocean Grove) this summer. Intensive boardwalk construction should begin this summer, with completion targeted for later this year.

Although Asbury Partners has offered to use double work shifts to hasten the job, we will negotiate construction work hours to keep noise disturbances to a minimum.

Asbury Partners also hopes to rebuild up to two boardwalk pavilions this year, at Fourth and Third Avenues, and the proposed designs are now passing through the Technical Review Committee, Planning Board, and city council approval process.

4. What about the non-boardwalk sites? The city is now negotiating separate Redeveloper Agreements with Paramount Homes (for the area north of the Berkeley-Carteret Hotel) and the Kushner Companies (for the Wesley Lake area), similar to the Redeveloper's Agreement we signed with Asbury Partners. Hopefully, we'll be able to use these documents as templates for future subdeveloper agreements.

Although these projects can't begin until after the CAFRA application is approved and individual building permits are issued, both companies are initiating the city's design review process now to minimize delays.

5. What's happening near the Casino? Asbury Partners is emptying and removing four 15,000-gallon oil tanks under the supervision of the DEP. Also, Henry Vaccaro has been traveling around the primary redevelopment area, making test borings to determine what is below the street surface. This information will be used when repaving and infrastructure work begin.

6. Can you comment on the temporary paint colors being applied to the boardwalk pavilions? No.

7. Now, Kate.... Okay. Until the old pavilions can be rebuilt, Asbury Partners hopes to make them more attractive to potential renters and summer visitors by repainting them and applying murals illustrating the proposed beachfront redevelopment. Let me just say that I'm praying for their success.

8. You seem a tad cranky this week, Kate. What's up? Cranky, cranky...? Me??

Okay, I have to admit that I'm still recovering from my second, unexpected lesson in the Theory of Relativity, that hit while I was helping to search for a new Asbury Park senior center last week.

Checking out a private program in a neighboring town, I was shocked to learn that they generously offer classes for "seniors aged 50 and over".

"But...But....Surely, that's I mistake," I said, furtively trying to shift my sinking body parts a few inches north.

"After all, I'm going to turn 50 this month, and I haven't even started my middle-aged crisis yet!," I protested, fighting off offers of membership forms and a spot in their senior aerobics class.

Somewhere out there, Sister Mary Phillip was smiling.